As i do this only in selfishness that it helps me to continue to learn what is important and needed at this time I am more hopeful that i continue to grow and feel better in my head. I am making some decisons Like changing churches so that i can Praise the Lord and feel free to worship and study . Lucy is doing well and while things remain tight money wise we are gonna make it. I can't wait to talk to christine tommorrow and Wayne will be out of shcool in 2 days. I Can't really explain it but it is like a comming into something and knowing it Right and Good and it can be achieved with out struggle so full of Graditude that it is almost dizzying. Lost wieght Last night to boot and sister reminded me to continue to work on my fear about Riding secret and once the other stuff gets sorted out I think it would be good to be able to ride again and have Joy of that feeling it would be better than any food her on earth.