catch up

Catching up So much has gone on and Gods hand has been so evident in it. Heard from my friend while he does not mention Jesus or God he did not scold me in my urging . My sweet sister in love Eve had surgery to remove her right kidney and now we are waiting for the pathology to come back from Texas hospital Md anderson. Eve and Fortson seem to be handing it well and growing in spirit and the girls are good. I go see christine in the afternoon and hopefully wayne and i will get our cruise plans settled. I am not going to write much i took a nap and now it is after 2 am so i will try to go back to bed and in the words of Lucy maude montgomery Tommorrow is another day with no mistakes in It!

So For Now

So still no official letter from social security, I am so ready for it to come went to see Christine yesterday she gave me so homework to do . I am working as much as my back will let me on Laundry and cleaning and planning the cruise for Wayne and I . Lucy is counting down the weeks to graduation but i worry for her because she keeps being late for english lit class I hope Wayne can help me figure out what to do. It is Raining I heard from my friend a short note no mention of God just facts but no barbs or mean remarks . I continue to pray for guidance and wisdom i so want him to accept jesus I feel in my heart that he will make it as far as the cancer but i don't want him to lose the eternity that is promised to us all when we accept jesus.

I am grateful for the rain and the sunshine
that you hold my tears in your hands
that simple though i am you love me.

Not the new shiney clean victorious me but the sinner that i was the failure
that i am you make me shiney and new when i let my self get tarnished by my wrong choices you love me then too

Help chose the right path the rough road and trust you all the way
Help to Love others for you today!

Risk

Well I may have done it now only God knows if it will be alright, my friend who has been dx with colon cancer I have struggled most of the day with wanting to ask him to please consider jesus when we worked together we had many discussions about faith. well no matter what i did today the spirit kept on at me and i had to write him . I am just not sure where he is right now and it will either fall on deaf ears or it may cause him not to be my friend which would grieve me so but i could not risk not obeying the spirit, So I jumped that fence I just pray that he will read it in the manner it was meant and that i will still hear from him. I am concerned but i would have been terrified not to tell him that he is loved by the one who made him and that he will be alright but he can have peace if he will just trust in the lord. I hope i did not do the wrong thing Oh God Please let the words be Right,

Sunshine and Shadow

Today has been a sunshine and Shadow day, I learned that a dear friend is facing a fight with colon cancer having had surgery he faces chemo in six weeks. He has a great family is a very smart man and Can afford the best of care. He does not know jesus unless this has changed since he left my area. i wrote him and email back and tried to be funny and encouraging have prayed and called others who love him as well to pray. i have not however encouraged him openly to reconsider jesus and am not sure why my fear for him is what it always was that something would happen to him before he was saved. It seems that i am to Love him now and show care and courage and be ready when the opportunity comes to witness to him. He is alreadywalking miles to get him self as fit as possible he has always been a fit man.

The sunshine is that of an everyday thing that i have a savior who loves me and cares and i can fully trust in him he is not like me not hot and cold he is the same everyday he will take care of my friend and of me and mine!

Wow Thank you Jesus!!!


I got word today that my claim has been approved and so I will be able to start think about other things and maybe work on getting back to a normal Less Fearful Life. Some kind soul actually approched my sister about me doing Volunteer work as a way to get out of the house answering phones. So I am here Just Thanking God that Good things are about and that i can still be useful I have been greiving over the loss of usefulness in my life. Thank you God for the blessings seen and unseen.

Oh Lord How mighty you are yet you watch over me,
You who formed the world and all its splendors

Yet you hear my thoughts you know me my secret heart and love me still. Lord How can you Love even me I am not fit to gather crumbs from the floor of your table, Yet you bid me to Crawl up in your Lap and rest in your perfect peace, You remind me that you have over come the world.

You Lord are perfection blameless spotless pure, I am willful fretful anxious yet you bid me to Trust you and you give me your Peace .



Thamk you Lord for your Love that i can only begin to fathom the depth and breath of you Oh Lord that you would give this poor Woman words to bring you
glory some small measure to give back to you.
.

Maybe Tommorrow

Maybe tommorrow I will get an answer to the disability claim. I am so ready to just be able to think about something else . I am tried Physically emotionally and mentally tired. So ready to just well sorta like Aunt Eller on oklahoma you take the good and the bad and you say Well alright then. I guess that is where i am .

I wish that i was able to run like a horse taking great deep droughts of air and go on but i am not. I can watch a horse run and feel deep pleasure in that .

I wish i could fly like the birds swooping and fluttering their wings chirping and singing, I am bound to the earth until the Lord calls me home. Still I can delight in watching the birds knowing that God cares about each of them He cares for me too.

So while i am freer physcially than some but not all i am sensitive to the fact that the father know what is best.